Finding the Artist That Is

I’ve been in transition for the last four years.  A metamorphosis into adulthood, into identity, into personhood.  A lot of things I figured out recently were things I thought I already knew.  And some of this change is a remembering of things lost.  But most of it is new change.  I am not the same person I was a few years ago.  I am not the same artist.

I used to create out of frustration and sadness and a lot of anger.  Today, I am content with myself and with my world.  That doesn’t mean I like everything or agree with everything or that I don’t have sad days.  But my daily life is one filled with a general joy and satisfaction that I never thought I would ever have.  And I found it at my lowest point in life.  I found it within myself.  It was truly a revelation to find acceptance.

The question now is: what is my motivation to create?  I still feel the wonder and the need to create.  I also think my happiness affords some distance from the sadness and anger, which can be a very very good thing when crafting stories, characters, and especially dialogue.  But the impulse to create has changed and I’m still figuring that out.

So this is me, finding the artist that is Jenny Waldo.